The Early Days Postpartum

In this post I’d like to talk about what got me through those early days. I’m going to be very honest! I’d like this post to bring a bit of comfort and help reduce anxiety for this timeframe when you don’t know what day it is. Remember everybody is different, this isn’t based on clinical research it’s just what I found helpful. As previously discussed in my birth story I sustained a grade 3b tear so my survival strategies will be slightly different to a lady who may have had a caesarian section or a vaginal delivery with no tear. Some of this may still ring true as let’s face it however your baby comes Earth side it’s rather uncomfortable and your body is busy healing. This is maybe not one to read whilst eating. I’m a big fan of food accompanying blog reading. I’ll always let you know when it’s food safe.  

I don’t think there’s anything anybody could have said to prepare me for those first few days. I’d have liked to have read something like this! I found it was just about survival. From a physical perspective I had some pretty extensive stitching down there as well as being swollen and very bruised. Like purple, SO purple. Sitting on those stitches was quite uncomfortable so I found breastfeeding in lying much easier. I remember being a little surprised at how sore and swollen I was. Things settle quickly, I did find it easier to be in side lying on the sofa or bed. I have read about people suggesting sitting on a little inflatable ring but the current advice is to avoid using things like this. Simply put these things will promote gravity and that’s the last thing you want. Stitches aside when you have a baby you bleed. A lot. So those ultra flattering netted knickers you see ladies in after delivery are basically what you live in for about three days or so. I treated myself to some incontinentce pull up pants. It was a tip from a midwife and they were a lot more comfortable than those net knickers which basically made me look like a Christmas ham. The bleeding is completely normal if a little alarming, you can sometimes pass clots too. Of course checking with your midwife is super important around the size of clot, as I always say everybody is different. Some of my essentials for perineum care were the very aptly named “First Days” perineal cold packs. I think my husband thought there were amazing and basically treated them like a cyalume. Twisting them until it sort of made a snap noise then shaking it about. They honestly were the best thing ever, brought instant relief and we could have a momentary laugh at me waddling around the house making a funny sloshing noise. The second thing I found hugely helpful was the Spritz for Bits by the Expert Midwife. I’d spray this on to those super chic pull up pants and later on normal pads to assist with the healing process. 

I wanted to make certain I was looking after my stitches. I wasn’t brave enough to get a mirror and look until well into the second week. I was very aware I would have to go for the dreaded first poop at some point. I did consider never eating again but alas I love food. Remember those guidelines I spoke about in a previous post about perineal tears. Well the NICE guidelines suggest a profalactic dose of an antibiotic to hopefully minimise the risk of infection to the stitches. They also recommend a stool softener. This is super important! Ladies if you have this you’re going to be fine I promise. I was literally terrified about going to the toilet. Peeing was fine. I know some ladies like to use a jug of water to pour over that area when they are peeing but I found I was ok. Pooping though wow. I’ve honestly never been that scared or nervous in my life. I’m pretty sure my husband sat on the landing outside the bathroom to check I was ok! Obviously the obstetrics team don’t want you to be straining or to compromise their handy work, they really have thought of everything. A well balance diet will obviously help, get that natural fiber in! 

One thing I did insist on after pooping was having a shallow bath with tea tree oil, Epsom salts and lavender oil. This really helped clean the area as I was extremely careful about the cleanliness of my stitches after going to the toilet. I then would very carefully dry the stitches using a special coloured coded towel that basically my husband understood NEVER to dry his hands on!! I also started using an antibacterial detergent in the washing machine and always changing towels/pads very regularly to minimise the stitches getting overly damp. Ladies will appreciate it’s a pretty damp area in general so not an easy task. It was also extremely warm in July 2019 so I basically walked around my house not wearing many clothes.

Having just pushed a baby out I was effectively feeling like superwoman in my little sleep deprived head and I quite fancied getting out and about for walks. I felt great even with the stitches and my little waddly gait pattern. I had visions of me striding off on dog walks with my husband, Louis and Theodora in her shiny new pram. Getting outside in the sunshine was amazing and just what I needed. BUT if it wasn’t for my husband reminding me I’d probably done enough I’d have wanted to walk further. Like I’ve said before those hormones and all that lovely oxytocin do funny things! Below is a photo of me the day after we got home from hospital. Please note I am the same colour as the wall behind me! I look awful and so I probably should do. I’d been in labour for 22 hours given birth, lost 1.1 litres of blood, had pretty extensive surgery been breastfeeding our daughter and had about 2 hours sleep! In my head I felt awesome (hormones). I needed to listen to those around me and let people help. That’s a very unnatural thing for me but my god looking back now I wish I’d have been better at just staying still and chilling out. In the photo I’m eating a homemade curry drinking a mug of tea rocking Theodora and wearing my husbands shorts. Looking a million miles from my best but I did say I’d be honest!

Now I’d established that going to the toilet was fine it was super important I ate and drank enough of the right things. I was amazed at how much water I drank. I’m talking litres of the stuff. I remember my husband being my water caddy. When I was writing this post I was asking him about what he remembered of those early days and he said, “I honestly thought about getting a Camelbak from work and sticking it on your back you were drinking that much.”
I made sure I’d stocked our freezer with the normal food we’d been eating pre baby so one of us could just defrost things as and when. Cooking nutritious meals was pretty low down on the list of priorities when I’d been cluster feeding my daughter for 2 hours! As well as eating lots of fruit and veg, carbs fats and protein I also took a breastfeeding supplement which I still take to this day. I used Pregnacare which I used throughout my pregnancy. There are lots of brands out there. I just wanted to make sure my body was getting all the support it needed from good food and a bit of supplementation. For me now really wasn’t the time to be dieting or trying to snap back into shape. The only thing I was snapping were the amazing biscuits my mum got me and then dunking them in mugs of tea with full fat milk. Those biscuits were something else! I think that was one of the best things anybody got me in those early days. My mum lives in Scotland and she came to see us a few days after Theodora was born. She gave me a care package in a beautiful bag. It was incredible, all my favourite things like nice tea, handmade biscuits a beautiful cushion for my nursing chair in Dora’s nursery. Cashmere socks, artisan chocolates from my favourite little chocolate shop in Castle Douglas a placemat with a pencil drawing of a hare on it because she knew how much water I was drinking when I was sat nursing Dora. She really treated me. That was so special. If you’re reading this and have a friend or relative who’s just had a baby remember mum. Those cashmere socks made me feel so nice when I wore them, just a small thing can make a big difference!

Unfortunately Theodora had quite a marked tongue tie which was making breastfeeding exceptionally painful and difficult. I used to say to my husband I’d rather go through labour again than breastfeed because it was so painful. It took a couple of weeks to get the tongue tie diagnosed by which time I’m sad to say my right nipple took a bit of a battering. Apparently if you’re breastfeeding several ladies have told me you’ll have a mega boob! Read as one boob that seems to just come off better than the other one. My mega boob was my left one. Theodora just seemed to feed better and the pain was slightly less crippling on the left. We had the tongue tie cut just under two weeks and things got so much better. Well I say better, I’ve had mastitis three times but that’s for another post! My husband made a brilliant Google/Amazon discovery in the early days to help with my nipples being so horrendously sore. Silver nipple shields, I looked a bit like a Fembot. They are called SenoCap and apparently they are used by ladies in France a lot. Silver helps promote healing and the physical barrier meant I wasn’t constantly peeling raw skin off the inside of my bra. They certainly helped me to keep breastfeeding prior to getting the tongue tie treated. One of my biggest discoveries on my breastfeeding journey was that I’m allergic to Lanolin. Y’know that stuff you’re supposed to slather on, yes allergic. Which was making everything more painful. So I ended up using Weleda nipple balm which was my savour. I’m still breastfeeding nearly 8 months down the line so I’m glad I persisted. It was definitely the hardest thing for me to get to grips with. I was so determined it was sometimes to my detriment. A practice nurse who, shall we say I have professional differences with said the most horrendous thing to me once. She asked me ”how set I was on breastfeeding?” Well at this point I’d had mastitis for almost five weeks and I’d been breastfeeding for ten weeks.
I explained whilst smiling, “well I’ve been doing this for 10 weeks now so I’d rather die than give up!”
Her answer- “well you might do if this infection keeps going.”
I walked out of the GP surgery 50% livid 20% worried 20% sad and 10% in disbelief. So ladies and gentlemen, if you want to breastfeed then do it. If you want to formula feed go for it. If you want to express awesome. If you want to do a mixture then that’s brilliant. You do you and tell anybody else who imparts their unsolicited advice on you to stay in their lane and their lane does not include your breasts!

Back to some physical rehab. Above is a photo of us on one of our short dog walks at Ashclyst Forrest, one of my favourite places. Apart from my little walks with my husband daughter and Louis I only did a couple of other very low level exercises in those early days. In fact I didn’t start with any Pilates type exercises until the end of week two. For the first 17 days or so I walked very slowly and I took some deep breaths from my diaphragm and concentrated on breathing into my belly. I was also consistently doing my Kegel (pelvic floor) exercises at least 3 times a day. This is SO important I’m going to give more details in a separate post. For the first two weeks that was enough for me. I was pretty taken back at how tired and wobbly I was. My husband reminded me about how knackered he was after his 30 miler for his Commando test. He said it took him months to recover. I felt slightly better after hearing that. Pregnancy and labour were a massive endurance event for me. That’s how I looked at it. I knew there would be an end in sight and I just had to get there. My recovery was no different. It just takes time.
My midline was literally nonexistent so in the early days rather than stressing it by sitting up and lying down in bed I’d come onto my side and push up with the hand or arm closest to the bed whilst dropping my legs off the bed. I only did this for the first week or so because my midline felt so unstable. Getting out of bed this way just felt comfortable for me but for ladies who have had a Caesarian Section it’s important to get out of bed this way. This brilliant little graphic is from Mum’s Notes on the blog post titled C- Section- 12 Practical Tips For Recovery After A Caesarian. I’ve put the link to the blog post in the references section. I don’t have any experience of having a Caesarian so please go and have a read of their blog, I thought it was brilliant.

As I say everyone is different. Those first few weeks were so special but so scary! I had this new small person who was so tiny and precious her baby clothes seem so small now. I’d never experienced a time like this and I was so worried about doing things right and not messing it up. All the while my body was trying to recover and heal. I look back at those weeks that felt like forever but were gone in a flash. People kept telling me it wouldn’t last forever but sometimes when you’re in the thick of it you can’t see all those small changes and the progress. Being kind to yourself and your body is something I always tried to do and remember you’re not on your own. When it’s two in the morning and your on feed 137 of that day your nipples are cracked and your delirious with sleep deprivation just open the curtains. Sounds mental but this is what I did. I opened our shutters in the lounge and looked down our street and I counted the lights. One, two, there were always different lights on but always a few. These are other parents doing exactly the same and probably thinking the same. It is hard, it’s probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done but it’s also the best thing I’ve ever done. Just know that if you are in those early days you’re not alone, you’re doing an incredible job and tomorrow is a new day. I really hope there are a few things in this post that have rung true for you or answered a question if you were wondering. If I haven’t answered the question leave me a comment below or find me on Instagram. Thanks for reading V x.

References

Mum’s Notes; C- Section- 12 Practical Tips For Recovery After A Caesarian. http://www.mumsnotes.com/c-section-12-practical-tips-for-recovery-after-a-caesarean/